African American Counselors in Georgia
November 19, 2013 Black Therapist in Georgia
Does Marriage Counseling Work?
Before you decide whether marriage counseling will save your marriage, you may find yourself asking, does counseling even work?’ Well, the fact of the matter is that marriage counseling actually does work. Most of the common problems many African American marriages face can be fixed though intense counseling. Here’s how:
1. Avoid Harsh Start- Ups
Your counselor will teach you how to reconnect as a married couple without any residual ill feelings. You can learn how to begin each argument in ways that minimize harm and negativity. Most arguments that begin with harshness often end badly.
However, with help from your counselor, you will be able to start your arguments cordially and with a motive that is mutually beneficial to your partner and yourself. This way, should you ever disagree with your spouse, you will know how to start the discussion calmly, respectfully and in a civil manner.
2. Reaffirm the Friendship
Your African American marriage counselor will also check whether the both of you are making successful repair attempts’ to remedy the relationship. These include attempts made to de- escalate the tension with a view to resolve differences.
Most unhappy couples are too steeped in negative feelings to notice when one partner actually wants a peaceful resolution to the conflict. The best counselor will revive and divorce- proof your relationship by helping you understand each other both while fighting and while on good terms. This way, you will improve your communication, which will ultimately lead to an improvement in the nature of your conflicts – from destructive ones to useful ones that build each other up.
3. Rekindling the Love
The other way marriage counseling aids a failing relationship is by compelling you to spend more time together- either alone or in the counseling office. The strongest marriages spend some extra time every week engaged in activities that strengthen the marriage. This time is enough to make all the difference in the substance and quality of the marriage. You can spend time:
a) Connect in the Morning: Learn something about what your partner has planned to do for the day.
b) Connect in the Evening: After you get home, talk to your spouse about the happenings in your day. Chatting helps you de- stress and re- connect to your partner.
c) Appreciate and Admire: On a daily basis, tell your spouse that you love them and appreciate everything they do for you. Be as specific as possible.
d) Intimate Affection: To bring back the magic, hold hands, kiss, cuddle, spoon and do things that show affection. The more time spent in affectionate situations, the happier the marriage will be.
e) Date Weekly: This is non- negotiable. If there are kids in the picture, get someone to babysit. Own the time and do not let anything distract you from your spouse. Spend the time talking and reconnecting.
Finally, listen to what the counselor has to say about your relationship. They know more about the improvements that you are making than you do and can give you useful hints to improve even further. Overall, you can be sure that African American marriage counseling in Atlanta works.