I recently read an article that suggested that over 70% of all men have cheated while in a monogamous relationship.
Whether or not you agree with that number (and believe me, there is a lot of wiggle room in statistics like this), adultery is a growing problem.
I’ve even discussed 7 ways to move pass an affair for those who are stuck in a cycle of infidelity.
A lot of time and energy has been spent on the reasons why men cheat (and women, too!), but I wanted to shift the focus a bit. Why not celebrate all the truly good men out there, and explore all the reason’s why they DON’T cheat?
So here is a great list of 10 reasons why the best men never cheat. It’s certainly not an exhaustive list, but it’s a good start!
The best men know that love is a decision and not a feeling.
Honestly, understanding this fundamental concept takes a great deal of maturity, and boys in the throes of post-pubescent hormones are not likely to pick up on the subtlety. Feelings of love, like that rush you feel when love is new, is a chemical reaction. It’s infatuation. And it’s temporary. REAL love is a decision made every day, to love that other person, morning breath and all, no matter what. And if you wake up making that decision day after day, cheating is the furthest thing from your mind.
The best men are mature enough to curb their impulses.
We’ve all seen the news articles. The headlines scream, “Humans not wired to be Monogamous”…or something to that effect. While somewhere in our distant Neanderthal past, that may have been true, humans are at the top of the food chain partially because of the ability to put off instant gratification. To make a choice not to act on impulse.
Many times, having an affair begins as an impulsive act. So while you may really want a second cheeseburger, you don’t take it because you know it’s not good for you. The best men will say “I pass,” when offered that second cheeseburger, or when another woman offers herself up for the taking.
The best men respect women. All women.
The best men grow up respecting women. They respect their mothers. Their fathers respected their mothers, They were taught to treat every woman as if her father would be waiting up on the front porch with a hunting rifle if she returned home late from a date.
It’s not about just respecting their wives, although the best men do indeed respect their wives. It’s about respecting all women. While she’s sometimes forgotten, the “other woman” is also someone’s daughter or someone’s spouse. Cheating on your wife dishonors her in a profound way. And you also disrespect the other woman. The best men refuse to disrespect any woman by offering promises they can’t keep.
The best men turn towards their wives, not away from them.
When the road gets rough, whether it be at work or at home, it’s easy to seek an escape. To shut out all the noise for awhile, and just have sex. Or to just talk to someone. It’s cathartic. It’s a release. But the best men seek the comfort they need from their wives, and not from other women.
Once you open that lid, it’s difficult to put Pandora back in the box. If you need to pour your heart out to someone, it should be the person you promised to share your life with in good and bad times. The best men don’t have to be reminded of this.
The best men value the lives they have built too much to risk it.
Building a life together, having children together, growing old together. These are dreams common when newlyweds embark on their new lives of wedded bliss. And it takes work to get there, to build those dreams. Whether you are just starting out or empty nesting, the life you have built has value beyond the monetary, and it’s interwoven with the lives of so many other people. Putting all that at risk for a quick tumble is not in the nature of the best of men.
The best men don’t need their egos constantly massaged.
Let’s face it, everyone, man or woman, needs a ego boost now and then. Don’t get me wrong. And a healthy relationship has a good deal of ego, ehem…massaging. The best men, however, don’t need a conquest to feed their inner randy, young bucks. They don’t need notches on the bedpost to feel powerful and appreciated. Their pride is in their family and a strong, healthy marriage.
The best men keep promises.
Even if all the other things on this list weren’t true, keeping promises would be enough for the best men to never cheat. For the best men, promise-keeping is essential to their nature, because they have worked hard to earn earn the respect of their wives and friends. Any vow or oath is not given lightly, but with great care and intention to honor it no matter what, because the best men have integrity and self-worth.
The best men set good examples for their children.
Children’s first teachers are parents. They watch everything, absorb everything. Imagine what the world would be like if every child had fathers who demonstrate for their sons how to be one of the best men, and demonstrates for their daughters how they should expect to be treated by future best men! It’s a dream we can all hope for. But in the mean time, it’s enough to know that many of the best men out there are currently raising the future generation of best men.
The best men avoid potential compromising situations.
It may take a bit of practice, or a certain level of maturity, but the best men will not put themselves in situations that could quickly transition into a potentially compromising situation. Best men will not frequent a friend’s house when the friend’s wife is there by herself. He doesn’t frequent bars to hang out with lonely women. They don’t close the door when their hot secretary is their office. The best men recognize these situations before they happen and prevent them if at all possible.
The best men simply have better things to do than cheat.
A happy family is a busy family. Whether it’s kids and sports, community service, church groups, work, home chores, and finding time every day to make your spouse feel special, there simply aren’t enough hours in the day to have an affair, plus hide all the evidence and obsess over getting caught. The best men never cheat, because they are happily busy being husbands.
While this article is a bit tongue in cheek, and we had a bit of fun with it, I do want to end on a serious not. I once heard a saying. I couldn’t find who to attribute it to, but it goes something like this: Building a bridge takes 110% effort from both sides. If you build a bridge with 110% effort from only one side, it will fall in the water. While this article focused on the best of men and why they would never cheat, a successful marriage depends on 110% from both sides. Even the best of men, giving 110%, will fall in the water if there is no one to meet them from the other side.